But if your found they will be devastated with how your dying because my wife and daughter still has nightmares now of how I was fitting and screaming, luckily I had no lasting side affects but I was in the hospital with 15minutes, things are not always as bad as they seam, there is alway a way out if you ask for help. I have since had a spinal operation which has solved my pain problem, but the memories I have left behind for my family are still there. Please please do not do or think about doing this as, it will end your life possibly but then again may not, but will leave everyone in pain who love and care for you. And you do survive you will kick yourself everyday as I do because there is always a way to get through your problems. I have now returned to work bought a new car/motorcycle and my life is back on track. I won but you may not be as lucky.

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Many who feel this way know that there are people that care about them, but those friendships and loved ones are on the periphery, but that is absolutely not true: you are NOT alone people do care about you more than you know. I URGE anyone even thinking about taking too many pills to reach out to a suicide hotline for help or call 911, talk to someone you know immediately. If you know someone who is depressed and has suicidal thoughts: stick by that person know matter what and call the hotline yourself, if you sense that the person's intentions are real get help.

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So i never have more than 16 tramadol on me. Doctors have to get their heads out of their ass when it comes to tramadol. So many of them call it a non addictive opiod-mimicking drug. It's highly addictive. Well, hell yeah it mimicked opiates. But only better.

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I've taken up to 40 50mg pills at once and it didn't knock me out, although my tolerance is very high. Hope that helps. It was insane. I now have a family member hold on to all my medications.

People are with you. On this board and elsewhere. It makes no sense to you right now, but try to step back from yourself, take a break from these thought patterns and be present in something else. Read through the forum and try to think of what you would respond to others in your situation. Maybe even try to help. It will help you realize that many people have been right where you are.

I have now returned to work bought a new car/motorcycle and my life is back on track. I won but you may not be as lucky.

James, Trying to commit suicide with pills is very unpredictable and not worth the risk. The 'hope' is that you will just go to sleep, but the reality is often quite hideous. You may end up vomiting violently and repeatedly, as your body tries to reject the poison. You could lie there in your own vomit and feces, barely alive, for days until someone finds you. Then you would end up on life support in a hospital. From there either you 'recover' and you are brain-damaged for the rest of your life and a burden on others, or your family has to decide to pull the plug.

It was insane. I now have a family member hold on to all my medications. They never give me more than two days worth. So i never have more than 16 tramadol on me.

Be pragmatic, do your best, love yourself. Believe it or not, you are loved too, even by a stranger like me. We're all in this mess together Lets make the best of it! Stay positive, believe in your possibilities. It WILL get better if you change your reality! So much more out there than what you may be able to see right now, have faith.

I always find that when I take the focus off of 'myself' and direct my thought process towards (helping) others it really makes me see things/think about things from another perspective. I don't mean to imply that your feelings are to be ignored, this is simply a way to make it through this moment.

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Doctors have to get their heads out of their ass when it comes to tramadol. So many of them call it a non addictive opiod-mimicking drug. It's highly addictive.

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Speak yo someone PLEASE! First off this is an older thread, but I am going to speak to this topic. I understand that depression is painful and that a person who is in deep depression is in deepest pain imaginable. Sometimes this leads to a despair that is all consuming and deeper than the blackest night and taking your life seems to be the only way out. My son committed suicide 1yr. And 18 days ago and the pain is still immediate and soul deep.

I Was found by my daughter who is still devastated and angry with me, I was convulsing and making loud wailing noises, the ambulance was called and I woke up 2 days later in a mental ward. I remember nothing of the night after taking the pills but each day I a left with the terrible scaring of of what I have put my loved ones through, if I was left I would of died, the emergency team said I could die on the way to hospital and if I did not I could be left very badly brain damaged along with a heap of internal problems. I built up a strong tolerance to the meds that is why I believe I a,m still here, if you took 200 50mg you would die! But if your found they will be devastated with how your dying because my wife and daughter still has nightmares now of how I was fitting and screaming, luckily I had no lasting side affects but I was in the hospital with 15minutes, things are not always as bad as they seam, there is alway a way out if you ask for help. I have since had a spinal operation which has solved my pain problem, but the memories I have left behind for my family are still there. Please please do not do or think about doing this as, it will end your life possibly but then again may not, but will leave everyone in pain who love and care for you. And you do survive you will kick yourself everyday as I do because there is always a way to get through your problems.